


Renegade Knight

by Azar



Series: Playing Pieces [3]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Backstory, F/M, Myth Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-20
Updated: 2012-08-20
Packaged: 2017-11-12 12:51:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/491223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azar/pseuds/Azar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Krycek struggles to reconcile an old hatred with a new need for solidarity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Renegade Knight

**Author's Note:**

> Set roughly around the time of "The Red and the Black."

In a slightly different world, we could have been brothers, united behind a common cause. In a world where my parents never died, leaving me to the mercy of the shadows, or in a world where his sister was never lost, that loss tearing him forever out of the fabric of our secret war, we could have stood together. Whether we fought for darkness or light wouldn't have mattered. 

She called him her white knight once. At the time, I tried to dismiss it as a joke, especially when she teasingly dubbed me her black knight a moment after. I've learned since that it is less a joke than a dream. She dreams of the world he offers, a world of naivete in the midst of world-weary wisdom, where no man has to question the morality of *every* choice he makes. Sometimes at night, I've heard her whisper his name in the midst of those dreams and fought not to cry. 

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised when she tried to betray me to him. 

I'm no black knight. Once, when I believed in the cause, I was. I toyed and played with lives, dangled them like catnip-mice before the undomesticated jaws of hell. In those days, she and I were partners in crime, equals in darkness. We found in each other the same wicked thrill to which our lives had addicted us. Her father disapproved, but her father was soon revealed a traitor so we allowed ourselves no remorse for his sorrow. Then, I was truly her black knight, even though we both were pawns, and she was my black queen. 

Is it any wonder I could not let her die, or be enslaved to the monster that still haunts my memory and forever redefined my sacred cause? 

Fox Mulder hates me because I helped to steal his white queen, because I killed his father, and stood by while his partner's sister died. 

I hate him because everyone and everything I've ever loved was lost to me because of him. My parents died because of the prickings of his father's conscience. The man who once took their place later rejected me because I could not be his champion, as Mulder could, and hated my love for his daughter. My life's only constant--my masters--tried to murder me to keep something I possessed from reaching his hands again. The woman I love has given him her heart because he represents the daylight she has only glimpsed from a distance. Even my own body has not resisted his poison, my own arm sacrificed to escaping his hatred of me. And the only man who ever offered me hope of defeating the terror I realize more fully each day has died for him, just like so many others. 

But, damn him, he is the only one left who will fight. 

I am caught between sunrise and shadow, a renegade knight neither white nor black but errant in quest for my own survival. I am in desperate need of my bitterest enemy to save the one thing he hasn't already stolen from me. 

In another world we could have been brothers. In this one, we must be against both our wills, if we want to live. 


End file.
